The Odyssey or something

 

Hi, I'm just going to rant for a few minutes and hope it leads to something worth posting. Thanks for reading. This is about The Odyssey (2026) btw, Christopher Nolan's latest big-deal-movie. Be wary of spoilers here. 

 

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I just don't really care. 

 

Direct quotes from Notes app: 

 

"I'm leaving the theater not having any opinions about this movie, I'm just so neutral that it's a bad thing." 

 

"I'll read the two epic poems instead."

 

"Just get a longer string."

 

I'm seeing headlines about Emily Wilson calling the movie "emotionally empty," and I can't fucking wait to read that review. 

 

To be honest, liking this movie was always going to be an uphill battle. I was already grumpy because there's exactly two theaters in the area (50 mile radius) that show the full aspect ratio, and I did not watch at one of those theaters. Why does Christopher have to make it so hard for me to watch his movie? Why can't he just be normal? Why do I have to risk tinnitus? I saw a lot of people online complaining about how loud the movie was, and I was boutta be pissed off about having to bring earbuds to a movie theater. But I forgot them, and I honestly didn't find anything egregiously loud (not even that one part—though tbh I don't remember it now). 

 

Nolan's movies are always big spectacles, at least recently. That's why people bought IMAX-4K-BIGBIGBIG-70mm tickets. What exactly am I supposed to be impressed by? His big budget? The sounds? His name is selling those tickets. So why does he have to cast the same five people I've seen in every other movie? The only question remaining: WHERE is Timothée Chalamet?

 

I wasn't very impressed by Tom Holland and only marginally more impressed by Anne Hathaway. I thought casting Zendaya as Athena was a wack choice, but I did blink and miss an important scene towards the end, sorry. I don't really understand Athena's role in this movie as a figure that stares and smiles and never says anything wise. 

 

Theoretically big spectacle -> big feelings, but I didn't feel much of anything. I don't know if the ending is accurate to the source material, but *if* it's not, I don't think Odysseus deserves that happy ending.  

 

I have once again fallen into the trap where I had too much context and too little context. Maybe knowing more about The Odyssey would have helped, because I'd appreciate changes Nolan made. Maybe knowing nothing about the source material would've helped, because then I'd be surprised by the cyclops or the pigs or the very deep knowledge to be gained by risking your life to listen to the Sirens. I don't like this version of Calypso. She's boring. 

 

I just want to like one☝️ film bro movie. Is that too much to ask? Maybe The Dark Knight was my quota for the next few months. 
 
I did nod off several times during this 10 AM showing, and learning about certain details after the fact that I SWEAR I was awake for makes me feel like my media literacy skills are in the toilet. I'm bad at watching movies sometimes, and I honestly feel really stupid when a lot of thematic stuff goes over my head. And it means I can't tell people that love this movie that they're wrong with any authority at all. But it's okay, I don't care I don't care I don't care. 
 
I really did try my hardest to pay attention. I even got a captioning device from the theater, because goddammit I was going to understand this movie better than Oppenheimer. I was so prepared, and I still couldn't keep my eyes open. It was also cold in the theater, and this was the one day I decided not to bring a jacket grrrrr. 
 
I'm gonna get excommunicated from my book club if I continue this.  

 

Things I like:

 

The Hades scene. Those spirits were drinking blood just like they do in Percy Jackson. 

 

I had my doubts about casting Matt Damon as Odysseus, but his performance was the highlight of this movie for me, way moreso than the other big name actors (they're classified as big-name if I recognize them). I liked Odysseus's dynamic with his crew a lot. His pride is clearly shown, but it doesn't stop you from rooting for him to get home. 

 

I'm literally going to give this movie a 3.5/5 which is not even a bad rating. It's good. I'm just grumpy, because it's not that good. 

 

You'll probably like this if you like movies. 

 

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I used this momentum and just went ahead and posted a Letterboxd review too. I tried to condense things a bit, and I tried to be nicer. Hopefully it's a less messy version than what I wrote above while still being accurate. 

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What exactly am I supposed to be so impressed by? The big budget? The sounds? The same three or four actors that are all the rage this year? The only person missing is Timothée Chalamet. 
 
I wouldn't even complain about casting if it was good (I might). Tom Holland was whatever. Zendaya might have been okay if she was playing anybody other than Athena. Anne Hathaway and Pattinson were fine. They were fine. I had my doubts about Matt Damon when he was announced as Odysseus, but his performance (and his dynamic with his men) was definitely the highlight for me.
 
I think I fell into a trap where I had too much context and too little context for the original story. I wish I knew enough about the Iliad/Odyssey to appreciate changes made by Nolan. Or maybe I should have gone in blind so I could be like: omg I wonder who Odysseus is going to meet next! Maybe this island will be full of friends! Omg a guy with one eye?? I don't like this version of Calypso. I think she's boring, and the framing of the story didn't do much for me. 
 
Liking this movie was always going to be an uphill battle. I was already grumpy because there's exactly two theaters in the area that show the full aspect ratio, and I did not watch at one of those theaters. Why does Christopher have to make it so hard for me to watch his movie? Why do I have to risk tinnitus? Why can't he just be normal??
 
I did not stay awake during the whole thing, sorry. I really tried my best with this one; I even got a caption device bc goddammit I was gonna understand this movie way better than I understood the jumble of words that was Oppenheimer. But no, it was nap time (10AM). 
 
I like the Hades scene a lot. It was memorable and it was cool. It's just like Percy Jackson.
 
The things in bold are things I liked. The movie was fine; I just think people like it too much, and I wish I cared about something.

 

Watched: August 2, 2026

Rating: ★★★½ / 5

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